The Katsuhiko Machida Report






It is been a period of deep sadness in our great nation. Haruki Tanaka’s passing was a profound blow to the endeavor of great reportage and although I am not worthy of assuming his duty, I am MORE than worthy of dissecting the bloated beast that is America.

What is the latest crime committed by its “leader”? Does it matter? Only to the world, but little or not at all to the American people. With impunity that exceeds any actions ever taken by Emperor Hirohito, the Bush-who-did-not-vomit-on-our Prime Minister, piles one audacious and catastrophic measure upon another.

Who cares?
“Not I”, say fatty butter-loving American Hillybillys. “Give me my stretchy pants, basketball shoes (even though the mere act of tying the laces causes me to break into a profuse sweat), Big Mac Whoppers, diabetic diet, Wal-Mart “savings”, shotguns, ridiculous pick up trucks and freedom from responsible global citizenry”.

And who shall pay for this childish selfishness? All of us. And that is a shame. It is analogous to punishing an entire classroom for the immaturity of one student. It is -- eh -- what is that? A powerful wind from nowhere? Hurricane level...as if created by gigantic wings.
It can only mean one thing – MOTHRA!!!
GIIIYEEEE!!!!!
GIIIYEEEE!!!!!
GIIIYEEEE!!!!!